Monday, 1 August 2016

So, here's the thing...

Friends, I have been sewing my hind end off, and I have gotten so much better! I'm really proud of myself. Diving in head first into sewing costumes was one of the best decisions I've ever made. I truly love to sew, and costumes are my dream come true. Anyway, that's why it's been nothing but tumbleweeds and crickets on the blog here. 

So, where were we? Oh, yes. My second ever audition! It went very well (according to the awesome director), and I even got invited to the call backs! Unfortunately, I wasn't what they were looking for. I know, I make that sound all "Oh well! I am fine! No big whoop!"; but, the truth is, I was crushed. I wanted to be in that show VERY MUCH. But, after a few good cries and some excellent advice from a good friend (thank you, MS); I had a real change in attitude. It is common sense, but negativity makes you feel like crap, friends! IT'S TRUE! (I'm planning my self help book as we speak). My whole life, I've looked on the crappy side of everything. And I'm sick of it (and it only took me 46 years to realize it!). 

So, what now? I know that my instinct will be to feel negativily, but I can choose how to respond to that. And I choose to try positive responses. And I realized what I am really afraid of. Here it is:

I'm 46. I'm a mom to a young child. I can only act in one show per season, because of the time commitment. So, why I SUPER FREAKED OUT over not getting in this show was also because I'm afraid I won't get in another show this season. Fear that time is not on my side. Fear that my extremely limited experience will mean no one else will cast me. The pain from kicking myself for not trying all of this when I was younger. So, the therapist says, "How true is that? How likely is that?" And I say, "I don't know!" I only want to participate in theatre. I'm not looking to be on TV or in movies or any of that.

So, I ask you, my friends who know a LOT more about theatre than I do: how true is it that I won't get into another show? How likely is that? 

1 comment:

  1. Hey Shan;
    It's your friendly neighborhood Thompson Harper!
    Let's talk shows for a second,
    There are three more shows with the company I know you like working with and you are currently working on one of those three which limits you down to two. Little shop is a very small show in comparison, you could be exactly what they need but it's a show where if you aren't there won't be a place. Which leaves us with Business, which is a great show, huge ensemble and big great roles! I think if you went for business you'd have a great chance at getting in!
    If you were thinking about a different company you increase your chances (insert shows x-fold).

    To address another angle to it, no one who auditions has ANY idea what someone wants for a show unless they are behind the table. Take me and Reefer madness, many people tell me I'd make a great jimmy and I'd love to play that part but if I'm not what the director wants or if someone does something she likes better that's out of my control. When it comes to theatre when you walk into an audition EVERYONE behind the table wants you to succeed and be exactly what they want for the show, everyone wants you to do your best! :)

    Much love!
    - Your friendly neighborhood Thompson Harper