What did I think would happen?

Here's the thing: I meant it when I said I'd work my ass off for this show. The problem was, I hadn't given much thought to what that would mean in concrete terms. Yesterday at the choreo clean up rehearsal, I learned the hard way what it means for me.

And I'm kicking myself for not thinking this way from day effin' ONE. 

IT MEANS REHEARSING SOMETHING FROM THE SHOW EVERY SINGLE DAY, not just on the designated rehearsal days. Especially the dancing, which I knew from the audition that I was not good at. Why, in God's name, it took me until now to get this through my thick skull, I don't know.

I would like to go on punishing myself for my stupidity, but I know that time is better used by practicing for this show that means SO MUCH to me. I will not be the weak link in this show. I will do what I promised everyone I would do. Maya Angelou said that when you know better, you do better. So now I know. 

It's time to DO!