Bad Timing, that's all

The ANXIETY and self-loathing had me tight in it's grip tonight. Remember that part in the Lord Of The Rings movies*, where Gollum says to himself, "Nobody likes you. You don't HAVE any friends!" That's what it was like in my head tonight. It was the read through of the new show I'm doing makeup for, and I was so excited to be able to make it (I was supposed to be on the movie set--another place I don't feel good enough to be). But, we wrapped early (ooooo, look at me, using the correct terminology and all that). So, I got there on time. 

From the second I walked in the door, the hateful diatribe began in my head. No one likes you, no one wants you here. You're not good at anything and they are going to hate what you show them. But, guess what? I can cry AND drive at the same time and not get in an accident. Ugh. 

As the late, great, Freddie Mercury once sang, "The show must go on!", and so must I. I hate you as much as you hate me, ANXIETY.

*If you don't remember or don't like the LOTR movies, I would say we can't be friends. But I need the friends, so, I forgive you.