My brain is still a jerk.

The last few weeks have been rough. I'm not even 100% sure why. One theory is that it is tough to be the person who is the most green in the situations. I am still a very weak dancer, and I am still shaking in my shoes during rehearsals for Tommy. 

You know what I need? A solid plan for sticking to the hard times with some mental and emotional toughness. Rather than diving head long into the spiral of depression and sadness, to forward to the small improvements I'm bound to make as long as I work hard.

My jerk brain is pulling out all the stops to get me to protect it and avoid what I'm afraid of. To quit and hide. To shrink my expectations and dreams back to a size that is non-threatening. This is the first time I've ever wanted to keep going, keep trying, not give up. It's exhausting.

Any tips on how to give my head a shake would be appreciated. I refuse to give in, to give up.