You have two choices to make, but only one that will make you feel good for the long term: you can quit the thing and leave, or you can face the fear and learn. Now, I am so much better at accepting this when it is about sewing. I know I'm an advanced beginner sewer at best, and it doesn't bother me. I happily soak up all the knowledge I can from my mentors and hope I get better. I do what I can and am proud of improvement I make.
But it's different with makeup. For a long time, I dreamed of becoming a makeup artist, primarily working in the theatre. Unfortunately, fear, finances and an unsupportive ex kept me from really pursuing that dream until my wonderful new hubs came along. Even then, a six week course in "Makeup Artistry" hardly makes me a winner of Face Off (if you watch that show...). So, mostly, it's been a "learn as you go" thing for me. But, as I REALLY REALLY WANT TO BE SUPER GREAT AT IT, my ego about it is bare, raw, and extremely insecure.
So, when I see someone who is just an awesome, amazingly talented natural at painting on people, I forget all the logical "there's a place for everyone" arguments and deflate faster than a balloon at a two-year-old's birthday party. WHICH IS ALL ON ME AND SOMETHING I MUST CHANGE. I must get to the part of me that is accepting of my limitations and excited to grow, like with sewing.
People suggest that you need to "have confidence", but I don't know how to do that. Guess the therapist has a new angle for me to work on. Let me tell you, friends: following your dreams brings out the best and the worst in you. Come with me and watch how I start to trust there is a place for everyone, to remember to sit at the feet of the masters and LEARN!
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