Acceptance or Fear?

We know I'm very tired right now. Ok, maybe not RIGHT now, because we're on a weekend break from shooting the movie. But, in general, I'm a tired person. Probably a combination of late nights and the mental stress of doing all of these things that are so far out of my comfort zone. At any rate, it's all made me wonder about something: 

Do I have the energy/endurance/stamina, whatever word you want to use, to participate as a cast member of a theatre production?

I have figured out that I do need some down time/time to myself (though not nearly as much as I thought), and that many days in a row of being away from home will burn me out and fill me with guilt that I'm not doing what I should for my family. I also do have some knee pain and am overweight.

BUT...

Am I just talking myself OUT of auditioning because I'm really AFRAID? Am I coming up with rationalizations for not trying due to my anxiety and self hate? 

I know it's putting the cart in front of the horse, as there is no guarantee whatsoever that an audition would end up with me actually getting a part. Being able to sing does not mean that you are right for a particular part or show. BUT, WHAT IF I DID get so lucky as to be chosen?

I hate being this way. I hate not being able to trust my thoughts, but I've talked myself out of or into doing things because of fear many times in the past (see: my first marriage). I don't want to end up regretting...

Like everyone, I have overcome a lot when I really want or believe in something. Like most everyone, maybe I need to give myself more credit.

Ugh...